I
was sitting and thinking back on my week and I came to a place of real
gratitude and as I was letting that roll over in my mind, I found myself in a
place of worship. I’ve been thinking about worship recently and as I consider
what that might really look like in my life as Christ-follower. It’s easy to
let my heart, mind and spirit slide into worship when I’m feeling grateful but
what about when I’m not?
So
often, I let my emotions dictate my heart of worship. When I find myself light
and joyful worship can seem as spontaneous and effortless as feather flying on
the breeze. When life feels so hard and overwhelming it feels like a drowning
person in desperate need for air. What about those other times? What about
those times when the mundane dailyness of life just feels relentless. What
about those times when there is an oppressive quality to what’s going on and I
just don’t know what I think about God and I don’t understand what is wanted
from me and my mind and my being are just confounded by it all and there is a
sense that since I can’t get myself around it all that I’m just going put it off
until I can. The next thing I know I’m going through the motions and my heart
is nowhere near it. Sometimes when we find ourselves in this place it’s easy to
slide into the oughts and shoulds of faith and the next thing, we know we’re
smack dab in the middle of legalism. It seems like it ought to draw us nearer
to God. We want to draw nearer but as I’ve experienced it, in reality, it does
just the opposite.
It’s
been interesting in this season, there have been so many times when I get to
the point where I just find myself at a place where I’m just flummoxed and I’m
not at all sure what the next thing is and worship seems to be a distant thing
because I can’t seem to get a grip on things. What I’m learning is that this is
actually a great place for worship. When I’m in that place where I sense the
Lord nudging the question, “What’s going on Mary?” It’s just fine for me to
say…. “I don’t know.” There’s usually an underlying reality that is embedded in
that statement. Where am I looking? That’s where the worship happens.
Right there in the middle of ordinary life. In the midst of the mundane and the
mayhem. That’s where worship happens. I may be in a place where I’m absolutely
confounded and I really don’t have a clue about what I think about anything…how
do I respond to that question… “What’s going on?” Where will I look? Whom do I
choose to trust? As I answer those questions…that’s where worship happens.
In
the Old Testament there are two books, 1st and 2nd
Chronicles, that essentially look at the history of the people of Israel over
lives and generations of 16 different kings of Israel and Judah. There are all
kinds of ups and downs of daily life with all the drama and boredom that go
along with it. Kings and common people get confounded over and over again;
sometimes in the incredibly ordinary and sometimes in huge struggles and
battles.
In
2 Chronicles 20, the people are just about to be attacked by a huge army of two
nations and on the face of it; they are going to get completely creamed. In
that kind of moment there’s that question again, “What’s going on?” and the
underlying one, “Where am I looking?” The people in that moment are just so
incredibly human and respond, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on
you.” (2 Chron 20:12) I love that declaration of worship but even more is the
very next sentence. “All the men of Judah, with their wives and children and
little ones, stood there before the Lord.” (2 Chron 20:13) They didn’t know
what the answer would be. What they did have was the opportunity to decide
where they were going to look. That’s worship. Every time we make the choice of
where we’re going to look, we decide whom we will worship. In the huge and the
small, the horrible and humble but also in just the incredibly ordinary, worship
happens, every time I make that choice.
What
I’m continuing to find is that God is very willing to take me right where I am.
When I’m blissfully peaceful, when I’m totally panicked and when I’m just in
the middle of life and don’t feel like I have a clue. I’m learning that that is
exactly what a life of worship looks like. I don’t have any idea what to do
Lord, but I’m going to look to you and I’m just going to wait and move, slowly
and intentionally, into the next thing you put before me no matter. It’s there,
in those moments and in the next that we see God and as I look back, I see the
Lord’s fingerprints all over my life.
Potter’s
Wheel will gather again this Sunday at 5:00pm on the courtyard at Second Church
at 55th and Brookside. We’ll enjoy a potluck meal and continue to
share the journey together…on the Potter’s Wheel. COME JOIN US! If you need
more information, please feel free to contact me.
God’s
Peace,
Mary
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