February 17, 2013
I drove home from Houston on Monday after dropping my sister
Janet off there for the last leg of her home-leave before she heads back to
Budapest. It was a wonderful trip! I
love driving cross country and I find it a wonderful place of Sabbath for me
and even as I drove into my garage after 12 hours on the road I was so
invigorated and was so looking forward to the week. So, when I woke up the next
morning with the beginnings of a rip-roaring cold I was so bummed! I’ve already had one of these this winter! I was not at all happy and I knew that I have
a choice when it comes to colds…I can soldier through and I end up with
something that stretches out three or four weeks or I can relent and do those
things that I know to do for a cold and I get through the worst of it in about
a week.
So, it meant going back to bed, lots of rest, lots of
fluids…you know the recipe. I did not
want to! I wanted to get up and get
going and can I just tell you honestly that I am not a good sick person. I get cranky and crabby and I don’t like the
way I am around people when I’m sick especially with a cold. You know how it
is. You don’t quite feel sick enough to stay home but you don’t feel well
enough to function the way you want. In
the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I did get up and out to
work some but even when I did I knew I wasn’t at the level that I wanted to be
and it feels so frustrating. I so wanted
to step into the week and here I was…sounding like a frog and feeling fairly
crummy. I was decidedly ticked off! I
didn’t have time for this.
So, as I was reading yesterday’s (Feb 16th) entry
in Jesus Calling I found myself so touched.
“Thank me for the conditions that are
requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away,
waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works of My
kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the
limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very
circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is
living close to me.”
How often do I want to live close to Christ but on my
terms? How often do I think I know just
exactly how that should look like or what I should be doing in order to bring
God the most glory? How often do I think
that my strength or ability is the best reflection of God’s work and presence
in my life? Could it possibly be true
that abiding in Christ can happen under the covers when I’m coughing and
sneezing? What about when I’m in that
place where my resources seem less than I hope and expect financially? What about when my sense of vision seems less
than clear? What about when the circumstances of life just seem to be out of
sync, up-ended and ineffective? And what about serving God?
“Quietness and trust enhance your
awareness of My Presence with you. Do
not despise these simple ways of serving Me. (my emphasis) Although you
feel cut off for the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful
statement in the spiritual realms. My
Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness.” (Jesus Calling,
February 16th)
I must admit that I can sometimes see such times as
“abiding” in Christ especially when I don’t feel like I can do anything else
but I had not thought of them as a way of “serving”. Doesn’t serving mean doing? Hmmm… In
Isaiah we find one of these most familiar comments of God’s perspective.
“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the
Holy One of Israel, says: ‘Only in returning to me and resting in me will you
be saved. In quietness and confidence is
your strength. But you would have none
of it. You said, ‘No, we will get our
help from Egypt. They will give us swift horses for riding into battle. But the only swiftness you are going to see
is the swiftness of your enemies chasing you.” (Is 30: 15-16)
I would imagine that the people of Judah were quite sure
they knew how best to serve God but in fact what they were “doing” was seen as
rebellion. I find that most humbling but
also hopeful. God’s plan for what serves
God is up to the Lord. My role is to
lean in and listen and discover more of what God says will serve even from my
weakest places.
I was listening to a song entitled “You Alone are God” and
there’s a line in it, “You are God not in need of anything we can give. By Your plan that’s just the way it is.”
As I enter Lent, I want to be in that place where I can hear
more from God and in so doing serve better.
It may mean I’m weak as I understand weakness but it may well be the
best place for me to be from God’s perspective.
I pray for the willingness to release my perspective to God’s
perspective of the liberation of limitations.
God’s
Peace,
Mary
